Well, I tried. But, I refuse to see it as a failure. I took a risk, and learned that it was more adventurous than my life and commitments would allow. After bemoaning about this a freind wrote me recently:
All of us zone out sometimes; we can’t do/be the kick-ass activists we usually are at this moment. We don’t stop our activism cuz of this temporary snaffoo. Let’s stop this guilt-tripping and realize sisters and brothers will pick up our slack as we do gladly for them. It’s one more step in building viable community.
It is what I love about being part of the community of people with disabilities. I don’t have to explain, or justify, convince my brothers and sisters with disabilities. They care as much about me and I do them.
I have fibromyalgia pain and chronic fatigue. It is one of those disabilities that the world sometimes calls a cover up for laziness, a lack of motivation or that it is just make believe. People with invisible disabilities will know what I mean when I say that you know for sure when people think that about you. You can see it in their eyes.
But, I have grown accustomed to their looks and can overlook them. Mostly because I belong to the most accepting, most understanding and least judgemental minority community in this land. I have never run into a person with a disabilty who is racist or homophobic; there are a few but not many.
Even though I only revved, I feel very successful.